Forsaken Love - Celestine Blue

Title: Forsaken Love
Author: Celestine Blue ^-^
Url: http://www.winglin.net/fanfic/evelyn_blue2/
Reviewer: Anna @ambiguous abyss

Warning: The reviewer doesn’t have anything against the Author. This is only an honest review, so don’t be mad if there are any unpleasant comments.


Title: 7.5/10

The title is okay. I would say that it is understandable in a way, and also blooming. But as a suggestion, it would be better if you put more meaning into the title.


Forewords: 6.5/10

It contains some unnecessary point, like the SM entertainment. You should’ve just put the preview of the story where it is between Junsu and Ri In. As for the SM entertainment, if you still want to elaborate it, you can put it up on the 1st chapter so it can explain more in detail of what Junsu and Ri In are into.


Poster & Background: 7/10

Nice. It is neat and the background is readable. The thing that I want to press here is the writings in the poster. The words aren’t attractive enough since it is really small and the font didn’t match. However, you did pick good pictures to match with. It would be better if you put in more decorative ideas.


Characters: 4/5

I’m alright with this. This story was supposed to be for those four people you mentioned. Avoid putting extra people into the scene if it wont help you much. This may lead to the readers being confused and trailed off at the same time. Like, if it wasn’t supposed to be him, then why should you even bother to put him in? But on the other hand, you did manage it well.


Creativity & Originality: 15/20

Let me start with creativity. You’re good in deciding when things are going to happen and how they are working together. But take note that you also have complicated sentences in some areas which may bore people. Originality, I must say that I’ve seen a lot of Junsu and Ri In in winglin and I hoped to see a different one. Yours is like the normal one but the way you told the story made an originality out of it. So congratulations. And I love some funny part which knocked my head off while reading it. Especially the Junsu and Ri In’s fighting part. I also found that it is very sweet and gentle, adding more spice into the story.


Story plotting & Organization: 13/15

I don’t think you have much problem with this except for the flow of the story which is randomly jumped. The organization is okay, and you can still improve it.


Language: 16/20

There are some mistakes in your tenses and also your spelling. You can add up more large vocabulary to make your story more interesting. Also remember to check your spelling and all before you’re going to post it up. This can prevent you from getting small mistakes. The others, well done.


Enjoyment: 8.5/10

Truthfully, at first it was rather plain but after more and more (Note that you have a lot of chapters there) I couldn’t wait to read the next chapter. I’m happy that you’ve completed the story so that I wouldn’t have to wait to read for the next one.


Bonus: 4/5

Your readers enjoy it, and you made the effort to leave messages for your readers. Points for you


Total: 81.5/100 =82%