Love in the Snow - Cinderella_suju

Title: Love in the Snow
Author: Cinderella ^^
Reviewer: Miss Lovie@ambiguousabyss.blogspot.com

Title: 6.5/10

I like the title because it does sound romantic. Not knowing why, an image of “Winter Sonata” appeared in my mind when I first your title. It gives a sweet feeling, yet it’s a little cliché.

Forewords: 3/10

You failed this criterion because you did not include prologue of any kind. Character introduction is definitely not enough to absorb your readers into your story, though it may interest them. Do write a small prologue, or just extract a scene at the story’s climax. It would really hook your readers in.

Poster & Background: 4/10

I suppose you did the background? It is pretty, however it’s such a pity there’s no poster to go with it. You even include quotes in your story to bring out the mood of the story. And, please take note that font of a different colour would be greatly appreciated because there are some minor clashes. Good try though.

Characters: 4/5

Interesting.

Creativity & Originality: 10/20

The main storyline is definitely cliché – typical storyline of high school life. But I do like the idea of Heechul having “princess disease” because he fits that image. That’s quite interesting. But the others are really cliché.

One way to improve is to branch out ideas from a main one. For example, if “princess disease” is the main idea, you can brainstorm scenes like he going to toilet to comb his hair and Jaehee saw it or he going to salons even. That would be more interesting because there’s no limitation with regards to the settings, not just in school.

Story plotting & Organisation: 8/15

The flow of the story is very irregular. The first few scenes stretch over quite a few chapters yet the scenes at the climax may be described very vaguely. It’s such a pity because readers would be interested in what happened, for example, when JaeHee was attacked by Sohee and her gang.

Language: 12/20

So far I did not spot any vocabulary and grammar mistakes. Good job! Please keep it up!

But it is such a pity that you’re using too narrow a range of vocabulary. Do include more descriptions to intensify the strong emotions you want to convey to your readers, for example, sorrow.

And, last but not least, avoid writing long paragraphs. They turn readers off.

Enjoyment: 7/10

I like this story because it was a cute one. It’s fun to include so many members of Super Junior in the story. They are such a cute bunch! However it’s such a pity the emotions conveyed aren’t strong enough. You can work on your vocabulary and story plotting to improve on that.

Bonus: 5/5

I’m definitely looking forward to more chapters. =)

Total: 59.5/100