Faith - banana

Title: ~Faith~
Author: jes_banana
Url: http://www.winglin.net/fanfic/jes_banana1/
Reviewer: Death God @ Ambiguous Abyss

DISCLAIMER: Review done might be harash, but with no intention to offend anyone.

Title: 5/10

I don't see a link between the title, and the story plot. Maybe, it's because your's story is just beginning to build up. However, the title itself ain't attractive enough to arouse my attention to read on. So, I hope to see more link between the title and the plot will come up when you continue to write on.

Forewords: 1/10

It's actually better, to start with a list of cast for the story; Or with a short introduction or a short paragraph taken from the story, it beat nothing. So, keep that in mind when you wanted to write a good foreword. It's better to have a good start, rather then a bad one.

Poster & Background: -/10

I'll skip this part as you don't have any poster currently.

Characters: 3.5/5

Pairing wise, I've no much comment. As, you've used ficitional charcater to pair up with the main (That's what I assume). Characterisation wise, it's still pretty flat now. So, my advise to you; Try to build up more interaction between the cast, bearing in mind not to overdo it. Also, try to spice up the story with more interesting and fun dialogues/descriptions to make the character more lively.


Creativity & Originality: 10/20

Not much originality spotted in the story, up till now. Creativity are not there yet, maybe because you're still trying to build up the whole story. My advise to you is, to try to keep a healthy dose of interaction between the character to make the story seem more lively. Also, adding surprise and twist here and there will enhance the creativity and originality to the next level.

Story plotting & Organisation: 11/15

Everything seem fine here, as the pace is just right. Plot are well organise, and detail written. More can be done to improve, and to grab reader's attention. Like what I've mention in the Creativity & Originality, I suggest you to add in more interaction and surprise to spice the story up.

Language: 14/20

Everything is fine, but try not to be too in-formal with words in dialogues. Also, bear in mind to keep the sentence short, as long and choopy sentence bored out the readers. Plus, some of your sentence sound awkwarding; so, try to minimise the mistake.

Enjoyment: 7/10

Reading your story is a rather pleasure thing to do, as the tempo is just right. Not too fast, not too slow. However, I'll love to see more twist to bring the whole story up to the next level.

Bonus: 2/5

Two marks award, for the hardwork/effort you put in for this story.

Total: 53.5/90 = 59/100