I'm with You - banana

Title: I’m with you
Author: Jes.banana
Url: http://www.winglin.net/fanfic/jes_banana/
Reviewer: Anna @ambiguous abyss


Warning: The reviewer doesn’t have anything against the Author. This is only an honest review, so don’t be mad if there are any unpleasant comments.

Title: 8.5/10

The title reminds me of certain things where a person is always with somebody. “I’m with you” it gives me a meaning that a person is assuring someone he/she loves. Telling them not to be afraid because ‘I’m with you’.


Forewords: 1.5/10

it’s better for you to put in something, like the introduction to the story so that it would catch readers’ attention. Other than putting nothing. You’ll make a great story if you put the summary of what you’re going to make.

Poster & Background: -/10

there’s no background picture or poster. It would be better if you have one. The background is white and it makes the words easier to read, but having a poster is nicer because somehow it introduces the main characters of the story.

Characters: 5/5

I can see that this main girl character has two qualities at the same time, being a girl and disguised as a boy. I like how it works. And I love Changmin’s character here. Always having this passion for food.

Creativity & Originality: 14/20

For creativity, I can give you high points since you can bring up the characters really well and the way you described things is good.
You can add something for your originality. Something that is rarely used. I like it when you said the girl disguised to spy. (In hanakimi, she disguised because she admires the guy, right?) But you can make the story more interesting by following your own ideas instead of hanakimi or what.
It makes the readers think that they know the ending already. Overall, I think you’re trying your best to bring out this fanfic


Story plotting & Organization: 10/15

this story is going fast forward. I can see myself reading it fast and jumped to another one. But I like how you put varieties in one.
It’s fast on how you revealed her identity and then turned to Yoochun’s lover.
And you can improve by slowing down the story a little and pushing in more teensy details. That will make the readers think, “What will happen next? I can’t wait.”
And you should introduce more on her family. (to spice the story a little.)

Language: 16/20

I like your effort in trying to use large vocabulary, and I salute you for doing that. (Especially when it comes to the fact that this is your first fanfic)

Spelling mistakes, I can spot that in some areas (I can understand this since I know you’re not a robot. I did that sometimes)

But try to decrease the usage of “OMO” and such. The readers might think that it’s quite plain if you use it regularly.

Enjoyment: 7/10

I’m lucky that I have the chance to review your fanfic. Personally, I’m a fan of sad stories. And yours is one of them. As I said, although it is fast-forward, but the ending seems to be reasonable and acceptable.
I like you using heart-attack instead of cancer and stuffs.
And this story strengthened the story even more. “I’m with you.”
The girl was saying that no matter where she is, she’s always with him.
Great job. I love it

Bonus: 5/5

seeing that this is your first fanfic, and you’ve put so much effort in it, I shall give you perfect 5.
Besides, I enjoyed reading it. At first I can’t find something special, but coming to the end, it pulled me. I like it! Thumbs up. And keep it going. You can go far ^^~*

Total: 67/90 = 75%