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Mister and Miss - _Steph_
miss lovie Fri Jan 16, 2009 8:52 pm
Title: Mister and Miss
Url: www.winglin.net/fanfic/biscuitmonster
Author: _Steph_
Reviewer: miss lovie @ ambiguousabyss.blogspot.com
DISCLAIMER: Review given by the reviewer might be harsh, but no insults or disparaging comments intended.
Title: 7/10
I thought it sounds really cute. Of course, it entices me to click on your story. However, please take note that it lacks x-factor which will catch the readers’ attention immediately.
Forewords: -/10
I understand that it is pretty hard to write a prologue for a collection of one-shots. The only thing I thought was interesting is the application form (lol!) because I was tempted to apply too. Anyways, back to the topic, I think you could have included a small poem on the theme of ‘Love’ to summarise this collection of one-shots.
Poster & Background: -/10
Not applicable. But, it would definitely be better if you have one.
Characters: 4/5
Great characterisation.
Creativity & Originality: 16/20
I have to admit that the two plots I have read about are interesting. I like the way you re-organise and shape the plot to fit though it’s sort of disappointing that they were provided by the appliers.
Story plotting & Organisation: 8/15
The flow of the story is very inconsistent throughout each one-shot. For the first one, the ending was really abrupt, which is such a pity because I thought you have done well pacing yourself evenly for the previous few scenes. As for the second one, it was too long and draggy. Remove those superfluous parts.
Language: 16/20
I love your descriptions. You’re really great at creating your own intricate descriptions, and much to my expectation, they enhanced the mood and characterisation of the protagonists, which is very commendable.
However, please take note there are quite a few spelling and grammar mistakes here and there.
Enjoyment: 7/10
I enjoyed the second one due to the irresistible cuteness of the newspaper report and the ‘cat-saving’ incident. I just couldn’t imagine Yoochun jumping into a canal to save a cat! That scene alone cracked me up. (:
Bonus: 5/5
More cute one-shots please!
Total: 63/80 = 78/100
Url: www.winglin.net/fanfic/biscuitmonster
Author: _Steph_
Reviewer: miss lovie @ ambiguousabyss.blogspot.com
DISCLAIMER: Review given by the reviewer might be harsh, but no insults or disparaging comments intended.
Title: 7/10
I thought it sounds really cute. Of course, it entices me to click on your story. However, please take note that it lacks x-factor which will catch the readers’ attention immediately.
Forewords: -/10
I understand that it is pretty hard to write a prologue for a collection of one-shots. The only thing I thought was interesting is the application form (lol!) because I was tempted to apply too. Anyways, back to the topic, I think you could have included a small poem on the theme of ‘Love’ to summarise this collection of one-shots.
Poster & Background: -/10
Not applicable. But, it would definitely be better if you have one.
Characters: 4/5
Great characterisation.
Creativity & Originality: 16/20
I have to admit that the two plots I have read about are interesting. I like the way you re-organise and shape the plot to fit though it’s sort of disappointing that they were provided by the appliers.
Story plotting & Organisation: 8/15
The flow of the story is very inconsistent throughout each one-shot. For the first one, the ending was really abrupt, which is such a pity because I thought you have done well pacing yourself evenly for the previous few scenes. As for the second one, it was too long and draggy. Remove those superfluous parts.
Language: 16/20
I love your descriptions. You’re really great at creating your own intricate descriptions, and much to my expectation, they enhanced the mood and characterisation of the protagonists, which is very commendable.
However, please take note there are quite a few spelling and grammar mistakes here and there.
Enjoyment: 7/10
I enjoyed the second one due to the irresistible cuteness of the newspaper report and the ‘cat-saving’ incident. I just couldn’t imagine Yoochun jumping into a canal to save a cat! That scene alone cracked me up. (:
Bonus: 5/5
More cute one-shots please!
Total: 63/80 = 78/100
miss lovie- Admin
- Posts : 83
Join date : 2008-11-26 -
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