Home
Latest images
Search
Register
Log inHis Key of Heart - Pink Princess
Page 1 of 1
His Key of Heart - Pink Princess
miss lovie Tue Dec 02, 2008 2:05 pm
Title: His Key of Heart
Author: Pink Princess
Url: www.winglin.net/fanfic/PinkPrincess
Reviewer: Lovie@ambiguousabyss.blogspot.com
Title: 7.5/10
I like your title. It’s special because it gives me a sweet feeling, as though the male lead is waiting for someone special who has the key to his heart.
Forewords: 1/10
This is quite disappointing. I was expecting a prologue of some kind, may it be excerpts or character introduction. I would suggest that you include a small scene from the story, in order to sustain your readers’ interest.
Poster & Background: 5/10
The size of your poster is too small. You could work with a bigger size. And, that picture of the fictional is too big, as compared to the picture of seungri. You may want to resize it and blend it in next. In addition, you may want to add your title and quotes to the poster.
Characters: 5/5
It’s interesting to see how a fictional character works with a star.
Creativity & Originality: 13/20
The life-story of a ballerina draws me in. I like the story very much, because it’s touching. And, it is sweet to see how Sungmin is there for her at the lowest point of her life. However, please take note that some scenes are quite cliché, for example, the car accident.
Story plotting & Organisation: 10/15
Good attempts on trying to leave cliffhangers at the end of each chapter. Do keep it going, because readers need it to sustain their interest to read on.
As for the flow of the story, it is quite well-controlled. But, please take note that there are some superfluous parts which you can do without. Delete them whenever possible, if not they might bore the readers.
Language: 15/20
Your language is doing fine. I only spotted a few spelling mistakes. Just remember to check them whenever you post up a chapter.
One thing you can do now is to building up your vocabulary. It would be useful in widening your range of descriptions.
Enjoyment: 8.5/10
Despite the fact that I classify the car accident as cliché scene, I think you have managed it well. I could almost feel her inside me, imploring for Sungmin to survive. Her willingness to give her own self up for the person she loves touches me deeply. As for the other scenes, they give me a sweet feeling.
Bonus: 5/5
Keep on writing! Looking forward to more chapters from you!
Total: 70/100
Author: Pink Princess
Url: www.winglin.net/fanfic/PinkPrincess
Reviewer: Lovie@ambiguousabyss.blogspot.com
Title: 7.5/10
I like your title. It’s special because it gives me a sweet feeling, as though the male lead is waiting for someone special who has the key to his heart.
Forewords: 1/10
This is quite disappointing. I was expecting a prologue of some kind, may it be excerpts or character introduction. I would suggest that you include a small scene from the story, in order to sustain your readers’ interest.
Poster & Background: 5/10
The size of your poster is too small. You could work with a bigger size. And, that picture of the fictional is too big, as compared to the picture of seungri. You may want to resize it and blend it in next. In addition, you may want to add your title and quotes to the poster.
Characters: 5/5
It’s interesting to see how a fictional character works with a star.
Creativity & Originality: 13/20
The life-story of a ballerina draws me in. I like the story very much, because it’s touching. And, it is sweet to see how Sungmin is there for her at the lowest point of her life. However, please take note that some scenes are quite cliché, for example, the car accident.
Story plotting & Organisation: 10/15
Good attempts on trying to leave cliffhangers at the end of each chapter. Do keep it going, because readers need it to sustain their interest to read on.
As for the flow of the story, it is quite well-controlled. But, please take note that there are some superfluous parts which you can do without. Delete them whenever possible, if not they might bore the readers.
Language: 15/20
Your language is doing fine. I only spotted a few spelling mistakes. Just remember to check them whenever you post up a chapter.
One thing you can do now is to building up your vocabulary. It would be useful in widening your range of descriptions.
Enjoyment: 8.5/10
Despite the fact that I classify the car accident as cliché scene, I think you have managed it well. I could almost feel her inside me, imploring for Sungmin to survive. Her willingness to give her own self up for the person she loves touches me deeply. As for the other scenes, they give me a sweet feeling.
Bonus: 5/5
Keep on writing! Looking forward to more chapters from you!
Total: 70/100
miss lovie- Admin
- Posts : 83
Join date : 2008-11-26 -
Page 1 of 1
Permissions in this forum:
You cannot reply to topics in this forum|
|
|