Home
Latest images
Search
Register
Log inShotgun Wedding - Xfactor
Page 1 of 1
Shotgun Wedding - Xfactor
miss lovie Sat Dec 27, 2008 10:30 pm
Title: Shotgun Wedding
Url: www.winglin.net/fanfic/XtremeWeddings
Author: Xfactor
Reviewer: miss lovie @ambiguousabyss.darkbb.com
DISCLAIMER: Harsh review ahead, but no insults of disparaging comments intended.
Title: 6/10
This is too plain. As what the readers can interpret from your title, anyone would have thought that you’re talking about shotgun wedding(even if it’s not the case). This would be a serious problem because you would be unable to catch their attention with such a plain title. It just lack of some X-factor which will capture your readers’ attention immediately.
Forewords: 7/10
This is a little different from what others would usually do, like a prologue or a character introduction. I like the way you introduce, using a format similar to that of a poem. It did interest me to read on, but please take note that it would not be enough to sustain it for as long as you take to update your story.
Poster & Background: 8/10
Personally I find those pictures of joe and others quite out of place. I would have preferred you to leave them out instead of including them. And, I find the mood of the poster incongruous. It’s a little too happy. At least from what I have read so far, it’s about an unrequited love, yet your poster portrayed it as if it’s a really sweet and romantic one.
Characters: 2/5
It is such pity I couldn’t really see the characterisation of the protagonists yet, because from the chapters I have read so far, the focus seemed to be on the others.
Creativity & Originality: 12/20
Considering that your plot is not yet fully developed due to incompletion of fiction, I would say it’s still quite interesting so far. So far, I have never seen a story portraying Ella as a mountain girl, and the boys as hunters. This notion tickled me.
Story plotting & Organisation: 9/15
As for story plotting wise, I would have preferred you to have leave cliffhangers at the end of each chapter deliberately. This would interest your readers to read on.
For the flow of the story, I found it quite consistent. Good job.
Language: 15/20
I appreciate the wide range of vocabulary used. It is very enjoyable. Keep it up.
And, good job keeping the grammar and spelling mistakes to the minimal.
Enjoyment: 6/10
There are many superfluous parts which I thought you could do easily without, for example the chapter on cooking. It is quite irrelevant and abrupt. And, such chapters might turn the readers, for the protagonists are Chun and Ella after all.
Bonus: 5/5
I can see your efforts. Good luck and all the best!(:
Total: 70/100
Url: www.winglin.net/fanfic/XtremeWeddings
Author: Xfactor
Reviewer: miss lovie @ambiguousabyss.darkbb.com
DISCLAIMER: Harsh review ahead, but no insults of disparaging comments intended.
Title: 6/10
This is too plain. As what the readers can interpret from your title, anyone would have thought that you’re talking about shotgun wedding(even if it’s not the case). This would be a serious problem because you would be unable to catch their attention with such a plain title. It just lack of some X-factor which will capture your readers’ attention immediately.
Forewords: 7/10
This is a little different from what others would usually do, like a prologue or a character introduction. I like the way you introduce, using a format similar to that of a poem. It did interest me to read on, but please take note that it would not be enough to sustain it for as long as you take to update your story.
Poster & Background: 8/10
Personally I find those pictures of joe and others quite out of place. I would have preferred you to leave them out instead of including them. And, I find the mood of the poster incongruous. It’s a little too happy. At least from what I have read so far, it’s about an unrequited love, yet your poster portrayed it as if it’s a really sweet and romantic one.
Characters: 2/5
It is such pity I couldn’t really see the characterisation of the protagonists yet, because from the chapters I have read so far, the focus seemed to be on the others.
Creativity & Originality: 12/20
Considering that your plot is not yet fully developed due to incompletion of fiction, I would say it’s still quite interesting so far. So far, I have never seen a story portraying Ella as a mountain girl, and the boys as hunters. This notion tickled me.
Story plotting & Organisation: 9/15
As for story plotting wise, I would have preferred you to have leave cliffhangers at the end of each chapter deliberately. This would interest your readers to read on.
For the flow of the story, I found it quite consistent. Good job.
Language: 15/20
I appreciate the wide range of vocabulary used. It is very enjoyable. Keep it up.
And, good job keeping the grammar and spelling mistakes to the minimal.
Enjoyment: 6/10
There are many superfluous parts which I thought you could do easily without, for example the chapter on cooking. It is quite irrelevant and abrupt. And, such chapters might turn the readers, for the protagonists are Chun and Ella after all.
Bonus: 5/5
I can see your efforts. Good luck and all the best!(:
Total: 70/100
miss lovie- Admin
- Posts : 83
Join date : 2008-11-26 -
Page 1 of 1
Permissions in this forum:
You cannot reply to topics in this forum