Scandal - Shepardlover

Title: Scandal
Url: www.winglin.net/fanfic/shepardlover1
Author: Shepardlover
Reviewer: miss lovie@ambiguousabyss.darkbb.com

Title: -/10

Not available, because this is a challenge title.

Forewords: 5/10

A two-liner summary is only enough to catch one’s attention for a little while, which I strongly discourage, considering that you have to keep your readers till the next update. I would have preferred it if you had included a prologue or an excerpt of the climax, instead of this short summary.

Poster & Background: 9/10

I love your poster. It’s lovely. However, I don’t really like your background. It clashes with your words. I have a little difficulty reading your words.

Characters: 3.5/5

Despite your descriptions of those two characters, I still find them not prominent enough. You were focusing more on the development of the plot.

Creativity & Originality: 15/20

I like this. It’s refreshing. At least, it’s different from what I usually read about. And, I like the idea of adding a slight element of kinship into the story.

However, I don’t really get the part about the contract. There weren’t enough details to explain the situation. And, there was a part where you contradicted yourself. You said that Chun Hei’s mother liked Jeff but you mentioned Chun Hei not bringing any boys home in the later part of the story.

Story plotting & Organisation: 9/15

The flow of the story is fairly consistent. Well done.

But, do try to end your chapters with some little climaxes. This would interest your readers to read on.

Language: 14/20

Take note of some little spelling mistakes here and there.
And, try to avoid writing in long paragraphs. It may look as if you writing in run-on sentences even though you’re not. This will turn your readers off.

Enjoyment: 7/10

To be frank, I find the first few chapters very boring. I thought you should have taken from the part Chun Hei met Changmin, and not Chun Hei arriving in Korea. And, in the later parts of the story, you included many superfluous parts, which I thought you could have left them out.

But, I really enjoyed the way you described their intimate relationship. It was really real, the way love always works amazingly.

Bonus: 5/5

Good luck and all the best!(:

Total: 67.5/90 = 75/100

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I'm really sorry this review came so late!